Home » Personal Development and Dating: Introduction to Masculinity
Personal Development and Dating: Introduction to Masculinity
Posted: Thursday, March 08, 2007
by Albert Foong
http://www.urbanmonk.net
Masculinity in Personal Development and
Dating
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Are you man enough? Most men
are boys in men’s bodies. Harsh, but true, especially in this day and age. If
you’re a man, your personal development path will require you to man up sooner
or later. If you’re a woman, read on – it’ll help you identify the character of
the man you are with or will next meet.
There is more to being a man
then most people know. Being a man is hard work sometimes. I once read that a
man consists of both velvet and steel. You can’t have one without the other.
Most men nowadays have too
much velvet, and not enough steel; that is, they are too soft without the
hardness. They become wimps, who go through life governed by fear – fear of
women, fear of their boss, fear of hard work, fear of growth and change.
Others have too much steel.
These become the “bad boys", the loud, overbearing types. Some might argue that
this breed is better then the wimp. However, I believe that deep down inside they
also revolve around insecurity and fear, although of a different type. I went
through an “arsehole" phase in my life. I didn’t like it – I had simply changed
what I was afraid of.
Men in relationships
Most people know the bad
boys fare much better in relationships, despite (and sometimes, because of) the
danger - many these bad boys are self-destructive and abusive to others,
including their partners, friends and family.
This is because they display
traits that are similar to those displayed by confident and sexually attractive
men. I believe there is a subtle difference. A bad boy speaks loudly because
his ego is afraid that no-one will notice him. “Please tell me I exist." A
confident man speaks just loud enough for the occasion.
In my experience most young
women can’t tell the difference and so fall for the bad boys anyway. It’s a
biological thing – just like when men go for gorgeous women despite knowing
that she is a gold-digger or likely to cheat on them. I know because I’m guilty of this.
Gentlemen – A gentle Man
Back to steel and velvet. I
believe most men have too much of one without the other; some don’t think it is
possible to have both. Or they mistake strength and power for beating on their
chest and roaring like a pirate.
Having passion,
determination, and strength does not mean that you cannot be gentle,
compassionate, and understanding. Being strong does not mean beating on your
chest and shouting out orders. But all great men do.
This is the true meaning
behind the word gentleman. A gentle man. A man who is not afraid of life nor
his desires. A man who has the strength to protect his loved ones, and fight
for what he believes in. Yet a man who can laugh, grieve, nurture and heal. A
man who appreciates the beauty in a child’s smile, in the sunset, in a woman’s
love.
This is the introduction to
the masculinity section at the Urban Monk website Urban Monk. Much of the
section can apply to women too, but don’t quote me on it. Or women can read
this to gain insight into the “enemy".
What’s next?
The first step is to head on
down to the Urban Monk website, and find the piece on Life, passion and goals. It
is one of the vital components of being a man. You’re on your way to mastery!
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